Differentiated Dominion

While walking through a store today I was taken back by the barely audible yet incredibly enlightening sound I heard coming from the speakers above. It was none other than the Smashing Pumpkins, a band whose legacy has defined the way in which I personally process the world. I was flabergasted (most appropriately) by the sound which emanated across the store and immediately rendered me helpless to perusing my cd books for those cherished old albums.

Music has always defined my life, more so in years past than now. A cross-country transition allowed me to branch out; to see life differently, I suppose. I've come to define myself by what I do and what I feel, rather than by what I listen to. I've always prided myself on my musical knowledge, but I've presently let that premeditated status go, citing a newfound appreciation for the physical and mental limitations we all possess, regardless of our talents.

"I'll sing for you, if you want me to. I'll give to you and its the chance I have to take, it's the chance I'll have to break." That's Mr. Corgan himself investigating the deepest, oldest and happiest realms of my mind while I consider the possibilities that lie ahead. Business, professionalism, love, friendship, ignorance, purplexion, death | longevity yet brevity | each everlasting in their own right. It's the contemplation of these items that drives us toward purpose, while driving us away from the deep-seated simplicity of our existence. I blink, take another breath....

I think that the core purpose of life is finding something of sincere, real value outside the impetuous walls which consume the modern world. I, too, spend considerable time staring into the plastic, seemingly invaluable device which "connects" me to the world. In fact, I'm apt to say that I feel naked without it; a sentiment I never considered would apply to my life. But, on days like today, I hear the music that captures my youth; my prosperity; my ability to relinquish everything in this life that should naturally deem itself less important than the basics and think, "I extist, I am, and life is good."

Don't short yourself for anything or anyone. Rather, take a moment and reflect on all that you are, focused on the reality of our simplicity; on the vastness of the earth; on the universe.

"So let the clouds roll by your face. We'll let the world spin on to another place. We'll climb the tallest tree above it all."

 I don't always type my thoughts, but when I do they're from the heart. And my heart, pushed and pulled by the constraints and opportunities of life itself, may not always make sense; yet when it all boils down, that's what life is all about, isn't it?

All my best,

Andy

Fall a Different Direction

It's been a long time since I sat down and jotted my prevailing thoughts, a task requiring more precedence than I've recently done. Between moving across the country, searching for a full-time job and moving in with my darling love Ashley, I've learned a lot. Be it a lot about myself, the world, perspective, or a mix of the three, it's been enlightening. With it I extend my thoughts to you, whatever they're worth.

I spent a hair-graying month prepping for the move that Ash and I made from Valparaiso, IN to Denver, CO. 30 days is a considerable amount of time to pack a house, say goodbye to friends and family and get an overall sense of adventure brewing within one's mind. The thought of handling a future without solidified direction; that's another story. Couple that uncertainty with a 25 hr. drive in a fully loaded box truck and you've got a recipe for, well, distress.

Regardless, arriving in the City of Denver around midnight was awesome. Despite the lack of sleep, exhaustion from loading/driving and diet of McDonald's and Burger King, we were feeling quite the best looking across the expansive valley whose lights welcomed us with open arms. That welcome was fully developed through our family friends who've made this city feel more like home than I thought possible.

I continue today to search for full-time employment with endless thanks to my previous employer for continuing to give me work that can be done remotely. Still, extended periods of time in our little apartment further push me to question what it is I'm searching for. Sure, it's employment, but it's more than that. I want to fit as I did before, to find a path that naturally, or seemingly so, pushes me to feel fulfilled through professional interaction, self-development and new tasks. Alas, I spend my days perusing Facebook to fill the void left open by my cross-country retreat.

As I present these thoughts, feelings and ideas, I leave out the overarching message which is: fall a different direction. I can't  explain how thankful I am to Ashley for applying to the job which hired her. That move is and will always be the spark that ignited our Colorado fire. By falling a different direction I don't mean to imply change your life by doing something drastic; quite the contrary. I've found a relief, despite the added stress and uncertainty my life has recently incurred, in knowing that I (we) completed a mission to find happiness. Whether that happiness is rooted in change, in solidarity, in contemplation: whatever the case may be, find what makes you happy.

The snow falls and the newest addition to our lives has solidified his familial status (his name is Winston). I'm thankful for the family that continues to support me throughout these endeavors as my axis mundi tilts a different direction. Hoping to see some of you sooner rather than later, but I'll leave that to the direction in which you fall......

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." -Mark Twain