Differentiated Dominion

While walking through a store today I was taken back by the barely audible yet incredibly enlightening sound I heard coming from the speakers above. It was none other than the Smashing Pumpkins, a band whose legacy has defined the way in which I personally process the world. I was flabergasted (most appropriately) by the sound which emanated across the store and immediately rendered me helpless to perusing my cd books for those cherished old albums.

Music has always defined my life, more so in years past than now. A cross-country transition allowed me to branch out; to see life differently, I suppose. I've come to define myself by what I do and what I feel, rather than by what I listen to. I've always prided myself on my musical knowledge, but I've presently let that premeditated status go, citing a newfound appreciation for the physical and mental limitations we all possess, regardless of our talents.

"I'll sing for you, if you want me to. I'll give to you and its the chance I have to take, it's the chance I'll have to break." That's Mr. Corgan himself investigating the deepest, oldest and happiest realms of my mind while I consider the possibilities that lie ahead. Business, professionalism, love, friendship, ignorance, purplexion, death | longevity yet brevity | each everlasting in their own right. It's the contemplation of these items that drives us toward purpose, while driving us away from the deep-seated simplicity of our existence. I blink, take another breath....

I think that the core purpose of life is finding something of sincere, real value outside the impetuous walls which consume the modern world. I, too, spend considerable time staring into the plastic, seemingly invaluable device which "connects" me to the world. In fact, I'm apt to say that I feel naked without it; a sentiment I never considered would apply to my life. But, on days like today, I hear the music that captures my youth; my prosperity; my ability to relinquish everything in this life that should naturally deem itself less important than the basics and think, "I extist, I am, and life is good."

Don't short yourself for anything or anyone. Rather, take a moment and reflect on all that you are, focused on the reality of our simplicity; on the vastness of the earth; on the universe.

"So let the clouds roll by your face. We'll let the world spin on to another place. We'll climb the tallest tree above it all."

 I don't always type my thoughts, but when I do they're from the heart. And my heart, pushed and pulled by the constraints and opportunities of life itself, may not always make sense; yet when it all boils down, that's what life is all about, isn't it?

All my best,

Andy

Fall a Different Direction

It's been a long time since I sat down and jotted my prevailing thoughts, a task requiring more precedence than I've recently done. Between moving across the country, searching for a full-time job and moving in with my darling love Ashley, I've learned a lot. Be it a lot about myself, the world, perspective, or a mix of the three, it's been enlightening. With it I extend my thoughts to you, whatever they're worth.

I spent a hair-graying month prepping for the move that Ash and I made from Valparaiso, IN to Denver, CO. 30 days is a considerable amount of time to pack a house, say goodbye to friends and family and get an overall sense of adventure brewing within one's mind. The thought of handling a future without solidified direction; that's another story. Couple that uncertainty with a 25 hr. drive in a fully loaded box truck and you've got a recipe for, well, distress.

Regardless, arriving in the City of Denver around midnight was awesome. Despite the lack of sleep, exhaustion from loading/driving and diet of McDonald's and Burger King, we were feeling quite the best looking across the expansive valley whose lights welcomed us with open arms. That welcome was fully developed through our family friends who've made this city feel more like home than I thought possible.

I continue today to search for full-time employment with endless thanks to my previous employer for continuing to give me work that can be done remotely. Still, extended periods of time in our little apartment further push me to question what it is I'm searching for. Sure, it's employment, but it's more than that. I want to fit as I did before, to find a path that naturally, or seemingly so, pushes me to feel fulfilled through professional interaction, self-development and new tasks. Alas, I spend my days perusing Facebook to fill the void left open by my cross-country retreat.

As I present these thoughts, feelings and ideas, I leave out the overarching message which is: fall a different direction. I can't  explain how thankful I am to Ashley for applying to the job which hired her. That move is and will always be the spark that ignited our Colorado fire. By falling a different direction I don't mean to imply change your life by doing something drastic; quite the contrary. I've found a relief, despite the added stress and uncertainty my life has recently incurred, in knowing that I (we) completed a mission to find happiness. Whether that happiness is rooted in change, in solidarity, in contemplation: whatever the case may be, find what makes you happy.

The snow falls and the newest addition to our lives has solidified his familial status (his name is Winston). I'm thankful for the family that continues to support me throughout these endeavors as my axis mundi tilts a different direction. Hoping to see some of you sooner rather than later, but I'll leave that to the direction in which you fall......

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." -Mark Twain

Don't Stress: Digress

Don't let stress rule your life.
Don't let your struggles become your focus.

I say this repeatedly as I sit, in despair, fretting furiously over the anxiety I've formed outside of a needed motivational push. I've spent the better part of today worrying; I'm worried about the event I'm hosting this weekend. I'm worried about money. I'm worried about moving. I find that I spend a large majority of my time worrying about EVERYTHING!

I'm taking a moment right now to step back, and I ask that you do the same. "What is it that causes the stress in your life," your inner karma now asks. "Why do you make things a bigger deal than they really are," says your cat (then again, he's a total pussy). "Why don't you just chill out and poo on the carpet," says your dog Royce (well, my dog Royce: carpet poo is probably a great feeling; a big F.U. to the world).

The things that further us in life are expanded by concentration, not cognitive separation. The definition of our abilities lies in our willingness to get past that which is inevitable; stress.

I think that I've reached a new-found point in my life, likely a partial result of an event that Ashley and I witnessed in IL a few weeks ago. We saw someone (most likely) die on a jet-ski, driving drunk. They crashed into a wall next to the shuttle boat we were on at about midnight. The shuttle boat was taking us home from a bar located in the middle of the lake. 

As a result of this endeavor, we were both quite upset. Can you imagine having a few drinks and an awesome time and then seeing someone die minutes later? We assume he died because, after turning out boat around to look for the body, we found him (the DD; drunk driver) laying on the rocks covered in blood. Sad scene but guess what? Life is full of them.

This witnessing marked a moment; I can't say what that moment is or what it means, but it was a moment nonetheless. LIFE IS FULL OF DISAPPOINTMENT; make the best of every day. LIFE IS FULL OF DREAD; keep those you love near and dear to your heart. LIFE IS STRESS; find joy in the small things, and place trust in the notion that tomorrow can be a better day. LIFE IS RELENTLESS; work hard to accomplish your dreams, and you'll always sleep like a baby (theoretically speaking).

Overall, I'm relieved in knowing that another week will pass and more opportunities for happiness will come. They always have; they always will. I hope that I can relinquish the anxiety I feel for all that I cannot handle, for I am but one person. I hope that you can relieve the deepest fears you have, for our minds and bodies are small (mine's just a little bigger), but our power is large.

Enjoy today, and if you like, call me. I'd love to have a beer with you. Life may be short, but stress only makes it shorter......

                                                                     I WANT TO POO ON YOUR CARPET!!!!!

Drinks and Definition

I had the fantastic opportunity to go out with my hospital administrators for drinks the other night. The event, though short, provided me with insight into their lives along with the history of how they'd come to hold the positions they do. Suffice it to say that they never relinquished their efforts, their schooling, or their pursuit to lead others. I'm not quite sure I'll ever hold an administrative position in such a field, but I'll always try to model my efforts after people like these.

I'm not one to feel that my position is in any way extraordinary, aside from the circumstances that enabled me to land the position and work with the administration. Rather, I feel blessed that I had the opportunity to be seen as an equal; a cohert; a person that can level with those that direct him and still be the same the next day. Grounding myself in this understanding is essential to future performance; at least I'm of that opinion.

Now that I've defined this, it's important that I move forward with the obstacles that lie ahead in my position. For example, grad school, which starts in two weeks. I will be juggling a full-time schedule with a full-time position; both of which demand the fullest extent of my cognitive abilities and my attention. Another obstacle; driving. I'm looking to move to Chicago to shorten my drive both to school and work. I can no longer convince myself that living in Valpo is a feasible thing. Bigger and better things lie ahead.

As I close with my tall thoughts, I think that the future holds the inevitable; happiness, sadness, war, peace, crime, advocacy and a million other things that sway the world to-and-fro. In the midst of swaying, remember to ground yourself in unbiased assumption, in solid value, and in clear thought. For those that stray become set aside in the world that never stops moving.

Enjoy your Labor Day weekend! Don't drink too much and for God's sake, don't drive!!

                                                                                          HARE KRISHNA!

Mainstream Media and the Sad Slough of Sympathy

Today's Headlines, via CNN.com and NWI.com:
-Rockets continue to hit Southern Israel
-Plane crash kills 12 in Canada's arctic
-Financial fears likely to weigh in on stocks
-Lawmakers face critical state infrastructure needs
-2 shot in San Fran parking lot after Raiders game

The list goes on an on..... and I should note that the inital thought for this blog came two weeks ago when I started an otherwise decent day by reading the paper. After terrible headlines, poor coverage, and an almost obsessive concentration by our local journalists on the negativity festering in the region, I decided that the news was something to stray away from these days.

I came into my degree (B.A. in Communication) because I thought it was the best path for me. It was, and still is. I enjoy my ability to organize events, handle media outlets, create news releases, develop marketing campaigns, etc., but I'm really honing in on the concentration of our failing economy, state, health care system, social security system, retirement programs, (again; the list goes on, as you can see).

What is it with people today that causes them to see the bad side of life? Why do we wallow in self-pity regarding things that are entirely out of our control? History has shown that through the bad comes good, and that with a drop comes a rise in the success of our leaders, economy, and businesses. It is inevitable that in due time, we will rise as individuals again.

TODAY: be happy. Buy a lottery ticket. Get a fancy cup of coffee. Splurge on that expensive six-pack of beer. Because tomorrow may never come, and if it does, it will be riddled with the negativity of our American brothers & sisters. Look forward to each day with the belief that you are going to succeed it you put your mind to it.

Read "The Angel of the Odd" by Edgar Allen Poe for a comedic boost to your day!

And so it goes, and so I go

In an effort to bestow upon my fellow comrades the most fervent thoughts inside my head, I've created this blog. No, it doesn't aim to satisfy the heaviest of cognitive palates, but it DOES serve the larger internal purpose of exporting my ever growing thoughts.

I have to begin this first blog by highlighting the void between my actions and my emotions. It would seem, upon further investigation of my everyday life, that I've developed a keen sense of morality, value, and knowledge. At least in some sense regarding the events that I've been through. The thought that I've developed these items is separated by the issue of emotion; that I struggle, in some respects, to display the emotional reactions that other so-willingly live on. These reactions could be, for general purposes, crying, yelling, screaming, complaining, and beating people up (always a charmer)!

Rather than display these emotions, I've found that it comes naturally to me to dismiss such feelings and replace them with passive feelings. These, in reverse of the emotions given above, are a beneficial stance in my eyes. Defining my personality and actions with calm, cool, and collected reaction has proved beneficial in many respects.

Alright, now that that's off the ole' noggin; the lighter side. I have to assume that I've contradicted myself in describing my emotions as passive, then starting a blog to explain my cognitive operations. Welp, that's just how it's going to go here.

As I was saying, the lighter side could be anything. TODAY, the lighter side is the sun shining on the pavement as an elderly couple sips tea; it's the breeze that blows the perfectly balanced temperature around the boxer that's walking up the sidewalk. It's the roasted veggie quiche sitting in my stomache. Overall, it's the daunting sense that we're all part of something greater. I think that's enough for now. I'll categorize some more thoughts and bring them to the table at a soon yet later date.

Your happy pic of the day!